January 20, 2008

20 January 2008
New Bern coffeeshop

This is a place to be lonely, with others. I have been wandering through town for the last half an hour, thinking about this trip from different angles and about New Bern and how things come to be the way they are.

I passed a pile of wood scraps and thought, “I could make something with that” and then “but it would be more useful to have a goal of what you want to make before you start collecting supplies” and then I began to apply that sentiment to other things – like this trip.

Being smart and doing research is a matter of enjoying the process as much as getting results. I need to remember that. I am not enjoying this process of research. I enjoy moments of it, but not the day to day, well.. not drudgery exactly but… trudgery. Normally, the process is what thrills me – of science, of dishwashing, of backpacking, and of running. Not every second, but the vast majority of them.

The joy of backpacking comes partly from the beauty and simplicity of traveling unfettered and unhurried. "The closest we can get to freedom two feet on the ground", I’ve written before. Traveling unfettered, however, has its downfalls. I can’t carry books or stop in a restaurant/coffee shop that I know will be full of friends. Free is not universally good.

I was also thinking of what it was like to live in this area or anywhere before we had modern conveniences like internal temperature control or restaurants or grocery stores. Or cars. Or fleece.

Passing pecan and oak trees with their seeds on the sidewalk, I thought about how people define living and think about the food, water, and shelter that sustains them. What does it mean to be outside of that awareness? There was a plaque down by the waterfront for a Civil War battle that was fought in New Bern. Old silo-looking buildings and huge rusting loading dock by the river – the stacks looked like grain silos but have a faint “fertilizer petroleum” written on them. The old train tracks with freight trains still running. There are a million and one things to meditate on and research and be inspired by, in the natural and human worlds. How is it possible to create a picture of the world – of the Ecology of a place - without getting bogged down in any one field? And how do others go through life ignorant of cause-and-effect and history? How are so many people dispassionate about living? How are so many people comfortable with discount or polished knowledge at institutional settings?