On the end of a long-distance trip

Transitioning back to a “soft” lifestyle from the trail is similar to getting off of a treadmill after running for an hour: the rest of the world is static, slow, comfortable and you are speeding ahead at the same tempo, aware of sounds and movements no one else sees. At the same time, the world is multi-tasking, while you are only good at performing the automatic, instinctual movements of the trail: preparing for the day, walking measured by a mental odometer, making meals, and finding water.

Why did humans evolve from nomadic hunting and gathering when this transient lifestyle feels so good? Is there something in our DNA: our bodies’ residual nostalgia for the uncertain lifestyle of the hunt? Or maybe it is a matter of digging shallower than that, back a few generations when living was more in sync with the ebb and flow of nature. When years weren’t marked from tax-season to tax-season, vacation days to vacation days, Grammy’s to Grammy’s, but instead by the gradations of nature. The amount of daylight increasing, then decreasing, the northern hemisphere thawing, then freezing, the spring rain filling streams and aquifers and evaporation & transpiration sucking them lower, crops planted germinating growing harvested gone to seed, the flowers of the spring and summer, leaves of the fall: Are we jealous of a world operating by these gentle changes, dramatic in their contrast and subtle in their progression?

Of course we know the answer to that question. We have chosen comfort and consistency over unpredictability. And as much as I love hiking, I also like people (sometimes). And feel a responsibility to contribute in my own way to society.

This is the third time I have had to deal with the transition from the trail to town-life, and I can tell you that it gets easier with time. I am learning to apply the things that I learn from the hiking life to my non-hiking life. It is learning to revert back to domestication (showers, toilets, water faucets, small talk), without letting go of the whimsy of life on the GO. Most of all, what I have learned is that everyone has an environmental sin or two. Everyone who has any kind of environmental scruples has a hypocritical gap between what they believe is the right way to live and their day-to-day actions. Guilt, like stress, is a double-edged tool that motivates change. It is about striking a balance, between feeling guilty about lifestyle choices and adopting a laissez faire attitude with the world: learning to harness your conscience for productive means and not let guilt corrode you.

And it’s good to eat cooked food again. I don’t know how much longer I could take peanuts for every meal.